#29
I am CANCER FREE !
Yes, that’s what she said; no cancer was found
in the lymph nodes or in the piece of bowel that was removed. This is fantastic. I feel a sense of absolute relief. I understand all the metaphors that writers
use to describe this freedom. I want to
laugh and cry at the same time. ”Thank you, oh, thank you! You’ve made my day,
no, more than that, you have made my year!
I have to call my husband.
Thanks, bye.”
I need to call Mike right away,
and our kids, and well, everyone. Now I can
tell the world. There’s a happy ending for
us and finally I feel like I can share our story.
I’m awash with a sense of reckless abandon as the need for secrecy is
lifted. It may be selfish of me, but now
that this story won’t elicit sympathy, I don’t care who knows that I had cancer,
because I don’t have it any more. We've won this battle. No, we've won this war.
Oct 1: My surgeon calls me today. He wants to give me the good news and I don’t
have the heart to tell him that I’ve already heard from my patient
navigator. He explains the pathology report
and advises that next year I need to have another colonoscopy. At that point if all is clear it will be
three years before I have another, then a five year gap and so on. We will talk more about this at my follow-up
appointment at the end of the month. I’m
pleasantly surprised that he took the time to personally call me and thank him
for his thoughtfulness.
It is now, by this point, that I
have begun to write down (or type into the computer), details of what has
happened in our lives this year. I even start to jot down point form notes with dates and details so I don't forget the cronology. I don’t
know if it will help anyone else, but it has helped me a great deal. This process has been a catharsis to me;
helping to cleanse the wounds, so to speak.
Getting my feelings and fears out in the open seems to help them dissipate.
To those who have helped me through this journey, I thank you, more than you
will ever know. To those who have read
through this blog, thank you for giving me the opportunity to share “Our
Journey.” - Judith Elaine
