# 15 The Operation

Over the course of the next hour there are several visitors to my bedside.  A resident student doctor, he’ll be in the OR observing. A young woman in scrubs who is also in training. The anesthesiologist; his job is to keep me alive but asleep for the others. We talk about my prior blood clots post op and he says that they will be putting in some Heparin to thin my blood, right after surgery and I’ll be having those shots while I’m in hospital anyway.  I ask, “Are you good at your job?” and he replies, “I am adequate.”  We both have a little forced laugh. 

I look at the clock.  It’s after 1 and now we’re running more than an hour late. The doctor can take as long as he needs to with that other patient so long as he takes his time with me.  We wait.

The last person to visit me is my surgeon.  He’s sorry for the delay but we’ll get started soon.  At 1:30 I get off the bed, trying to cover my behind, then Mike and I hold hands and walk out of the preparation area to head down the hall.  We pause outside the OR door, lean in for a brief kiss, and then turn in opposite directions.  “I’ll see you later,“ and he’s gone.

This is the weirdest feeling . . .to walk into the operating room and boost yourself up onto the table.  Huge lights, ten or twelve figures in scrubs; so many people involved, this is surreal.  I lay down on the cold surface and someone covers me with a warm flannel sheet.  "Oh wow, that heat feels great, thank you!"  Everyone has their job to do; all seem busy.

There’s someone moving the gown down from my shoulder and slapping sensors all over my chest.  “Sorry I am exposing you,” they say, as I grab at the cloth and try to cover my naked breast.  I know I’ll be as naked as the day I was born in front of all these eyes, but I don’t want it to happen while I’m still awake and aware.  I see a mask coming toward my face, “It’s just oxygen, breathe deeply. You should feel the medicine I’m putting in your arm.”  Yes, I . feel . . it. . .