#9 Aug

Stress can be a very powerful thing.  My back muscles are so tight that it hurts terribly to bend over, or to straighten up, or to move.  I make an appointment and visit our chiropractor for some electrical massage, re-alignment and heat therapy.  It helps a bit, and I go back a couple of days later for another treatment.  It feels like my body has turned against me.  For some reason diarrhea has become part of my routine a couple of times a week.  There is no blood visible in the stool, no real pain other than cramps, so I let it go and try not to think about it.  Come on Jude, focus!

*On Aug 22^nd Mike and I meet with my surgeon at 8:30.  My patient navigator is there and it’s nice to actually put a face to the voice I’ve spoken with several times now. The specialist is pretty matter-of-fact and shows me a full-colour picture of what will happen when I have surgery.  He’ll make a series of small incisions on my abdomen.  Two above the waist line on either side, one right in my belly button, another smallish one at the bottom right and then the largest cut will be on the bottom left so they can extract that part of the bowel that they’re cutting out.  “We’ll be doing some work through your bottom too, but you’ll be asleep so . . . !“  He talks about instruments, lights, air pumped into my abdomen so they can see what they're doing.  This can’t be real!  Sliced and diced!  I feel slightly nauseous, lick my lips and try to pay attention. Tears are starting to well up.  No!  Don’t break down, stay cool.  I force a grin.

My patient navigator pipes in that I’m scheduled to have the operation on Sep 18^th.  That’s a Wednesday.  I tell them that we are NOT cancelling our trip to Las Vegas at the end of August.  It’s been paid for since March and we’re going with our friends, and we need the break, don’t we?  They agree, “Take your vacation and enjoy yourselves.  See you in September.”